Love and Limitations in Mrs. Dalloway

All of the main romantic relationships in Mrs. Dalloway are in some way affected by social restrictions. Clarissa Dalloway felt attracted to both Peter Walsh and her female friend Sally, but chose to marry Richard Dalloway instead. This decision was clearly based on practicality, not on love. Unlike Clarissa, Rezia did make her marriage decision based on love. She met Septimus Warren Smith after the Great War and married him because she truly loved him. Clarissa’s attitude is one of melancholy and wonder throughout the story. Sometimes it even seems that she might make different decisions if she could be young again. Rezia faces an even more tragic situation when her husband commits suicide as a result of post-traumatic stress disorder from serving in the war. Both Clarissa and Rezia face limitations in love which leave them unhappy, or even facing tragedy in Rezia’s case.

Mrs. Dalloway is shaken when her old love Peter Walsh comes to visit. This visit causes her to think about her younger years and question her success today. As young adults, Clarissa and Peter fell in love. Peter would have been content to marry Clarissa, but realized that she would choose Richard Dalloway instead. Richard was successful, and became an important political figure. Peter, on the other hand, had no big plans and had no noteworthy accomplishments. Though Clarissa loved Peter, she married Richard to secure a stable future with a successful man. Peter clearly still loves Clarissa when he comes to visit her. He cries in front of her and is constantly fiddling with his pocket knife. Clarissa, though more composed than Peter, still wonders about him and finds herself thinking about him several times throughout the day. Aside from Peter, Clarissa also felt attracted to her friend Sally when she was younger. She and Sally even kissed, and this one moment was the happiest of Clarissa’s life. Clarissa and Sally seem to have shared a wonderful friendship and obviously felt attracted to one another. However, they both knew they were expected to marry and did so later in life. Sally’s husband has no major role in the story, but Clarissa’s husband does. Richard Dalloway is an austere, composed, and successful man. He provides for his wife and family like he is expected to, but seems to be lacking any real affection for Clarissa. He never tells her that he loves her. At one point he tries to say the words, but can not. Clarissa and Richard do not seem to really know each other and their love appears shallow and only in existence for practical reasons. They were expected to marry, Richard was successful, and Clarissa would make a presentable wife. Clarissa knew that she could find stability and support with Richard and valued those things over love.

Rezia and Septimus are quite possibly the only couple in the story to have a loving relationship. Rezia truly loves her husband and enjoys his company. Septimus is too scarred from his experiences in the war to develop a deep relationship with his wife. In good moments, however, Septimus also seems to enjoy sending time with Rezia. Rezia worries for Septimus and tries to help him in any way she can think of. She takes him to see doctors in the hopes that he can get some psychological counseling and be happy again. However, their love becomes another sad story. Sir William Bradshaw is the psychiatrist that Septimus goes to visit. Bradshaw does not care very much for his patients and believes a formulaic sort of treatment can treat any individual. When Bradshaw prescribes isolation as treatment for Septimus, Rezia tries to talk to him about allowing her to go with Septimus. It seems that she realizes Bradshaw’s planned course of action will not help her husband. However, Bradshaw has an education and an ego, and refuses to take Rezia seriously. He is higher on the social hierarchy and feels above listening to the troubles of a common woman. Because of these social limitations, Bradshaw provides no help for Septimus and Septimus eventually kills himself. These social regulations ultimately destroy any chance of happiness for both Clarissa and Rezia.